RL Success Journal

Here are the piece and parcel that make up all the little precious and joyous footsteps of my motherhood life in pursue of happiness and success...

2.18.2008

Mixed Feeling and Realization

I am very happy today; my sister Helen finally got the US visa approved. Finally, she can go to unite with my parents. Now my only concern is my two brothers, Alan and Kevin. Alan is yet to get his visa approved, and Kevin is yet to get a passport. Anyhow, my happy feeling is gone in the evening, I begin to have a feeling of missing. I can feel Helen is leaving me pretty soon. In just a few months time, she will be leaving to the US and God knows when she is coming back, or she’s there for good. For some reason, I have a strong feeling that Alan will get the visa too, and he will be leaving with Helen. Now, I can truly understand how my mom feels on the day I left with my husband SL. It was a great feeling for her to see me and thought that she finally can be together with me after couples of years of waiting, but I left her in less than one month, for good. Now, it is already 5 years since we last met face to face. I feel guilty, that I did not even consider her feeling. Dad’s is very emotional and always troubles mom with his mood swing. Mom will talk and I will listen to all her sorrows when I was there, but after I left, she has to endure all the sorrows and keep them to her own. She was telling me on the phone yesterday that hopefully when my siblings are there, dad will change for better, but I can hear that she really hopes they will be there so at least she has someone to lean on.

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